What Happens if You Set Standards, But Don't Respect Them?


It's safe to say that women should have standards. Of course, men should as well. However, I'm going to speak for the ladies here. Our standards are either embedded in us from youth, witnessing or hearing different tips from older members of the family. Or, from experience. When you know what you've put up with in the past, that which nearly drained you of your emotional stability, your strength equips you to be able to bear things a little bit more next time--but your standards decide that you don't need to.

I started a podcast with my best friend and one of our recent topics was a discussion about deal breakers. It amused me as I played it back to hear that at one point, my dealbreakers, or standards, was that a man had well-kept shoes. Or, a boy. #Priorities.

Clearly, I didn't know better. 

Yet, as I got older and experienced more of the dating life, I began to understand things a little more. As Margaret Thatcher once said, "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." And that, my friends, was what I had to do. 

This topic and a recent article that I came across struck me to think about standards and how they apply when in and out of a relationship. 

As a woman, a strong woman, your initial standard, the requirement, should be that a man is able to understand and respect the depths of who you are. If you do not present yourself as to how you want to be perceived, you've failed the first step.

The first thing to do is to be aware of who you are. As cliche and simple as it sounds, if you do not know who you are, what you represent and the amazing qualities attached to you, then you will fall short and allow any outside, man or woman, to come in and destroy your foundation.

Ladies, we need to fight for respect whether we want to accept this notion or not. Still, we are able to do this in such subtle ways. You do not have to push yourself out on the front line, but present yourself in a way as though you were a stranger and your reaction is based on the apparent respect for oneself. 

Admire= The important. Your Worth. Admire and valuewho you are so that you can appreciate when someone else does and also so that you can be aware when someone has no clue what they're doing with your worth and doesn't value it.

Having high standards is often looked at as a negative thing. It's almost as if it's taboo to speak of the things you want in a relationship.

I've noticed through time that I begin with high standards or semi-respectable standards, and eventually allow the course of time to get in between what I desire and require.

Whether you're a female or male, when stepping into a relationship you must understand that you can not lose yourself. In order to potentially maintain control, you need to have standards.

It always starts with you.